“Feeling fat” is the sensation that seemingly comes out of nowhere that your weight has suddenly gone up exponentially. You know what I’m talking about, right? The “fat attack.” It’s brutal. And to effectively cope with it requires consciously managing your Chi – your energy, your life force, and your mindset.
I think of it actually as more of a “lack attack” – meaning it’s a state of being that results from a deficiency of some kind of nourishment or a belief in lack. Maybe the deficiency is sleep, food, attention, love, trust and/or mindset – meaning a belief in not being enough – good enough, thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, etc.
I believe the most helpful response to “fat/lack attacks” is to explore… to go deeper. Ask yourself, what am I actually lacking such as, am I sleep deprived? Am I food deprived? Am I love and validation deprived? Am I believing a story that’s fear or shame or guilt based? And, is there a story about defectiveness, lack or not enoughness that I’m buying into? Then, really listen. Deeply.
Next, call forth and infuse what’s needed to bring about a shift. We have everything within us necessary to call forth the energy and the space needed to shift a fat or lack attack into a healing experience. It’s a matter of applying skills and practice. And, most essentially, it’s a matter of stopping the deprivation. And, sometimes we need outside help to gain perspective! Schedule a session with someone you trust for a breakthrough, a different way of looking at things, guidance or support.
I’ve heard many say, “fat is not a feeling.” Fat may not be a technical category of feeling such as sadness, anger, fear, shame, guilt and the like. However, it’s hurtful and harmful to invalidate the true experience of what the statement, “I feel fat” indicates to the person in the throws of the feeling by responding with, “fat is not a feeling.” I believe when I or my clients “feel fat” that this is a call for deeper exploration and a call for action to attend to a deeper need.
Just like in recovery from disordered eating, it’s essential to look beyond food and weight to understand the underlying mindset and attachments at play. When you “feel fat,” it’s essential to look at what’s really going on in your body, mind, and spirit to understand what you really mean by “feeling fat.” If one stays on the surface, this makes it about weight and results in the subsequent solution focused behaviors of classic disordered eating actions such as excessive focus on numbers, weight loss, over-exercise, food restriction, finding the perfect outfit, self-harming thoughts and behaviors and the like. If this remains the response, you’re doomed to NEVER solving the core issue. What will? MAKING SPACE.
Do you remember, Vanilla Ice? Ice Ice Baby … Yo, VIP… Stop, Collaborate and Listen. He sure got this right. Yo, Very Important Person (YOU), Stop, Collaborate and Listen. I mean this as, Stop the self- abuse, Collaborate around love and Listen deeply to that voice within – the one that’s likely not even speaking or very quiet and is deep, down inside. The one that gets suppressed because the world – both the inner and the outer can get so darn noisy. The quiet and the loud need to harmonize and making space allows for this grace.
Listen to this beautiful song by Estas Tonne & One Heart Family …
“Make Space, For that State of Grace, She is waiting…”
HERE ARE 3 TIPS FOR HOW TO MAKE SPACE
TIP #1: Center in Trust:
Realign on the trust track. Do this by rooting and bringing in flow from your feet… setting a grounding chord, creating space with lines of light from the feet and the crown to the four corners of a room, or in space… Massaging your third eye, sacral energy center, solar plexus energy center… and doing this all with conscious breathing deep down into the belly. Find something in the body you can trust – for instance, that your heart beats, your bones support, and your breath is always there to take, no matter what and as long as you live. Focus on this. And, truly appreciate and give attention to this as something you can truly rely upon. Care and reliability build trust. And, this will call forth the vibration of trust in your being and help you center on that track.
TIP #2: Bring light into the dark using Self-leadership: check in with your parts by inviting Self-energy to flow forth (compassion, connection, courage, calm …) – hold your body as a part, then ask yourself, how am I feeling towards you, body … stay with that inquiry to come to a point of feeling calm, curious and neutral. Any time you feel a charge or a judgement or a criticism, ask the part leading the charge if would be willing to step back, soften, let go. This is a process called unblending and it can help create spaciousness between you and your parts and allow for Self emergence.
TIP #3: Soothe, release, repeat as needed: Yoga postures that soothe, balance, clear and work with root and sacral and solar plexus energy centers such as child’s pose, twists, corpse… yin … Listen to music that helps soothe the brain waves and helps express flow of energy and feeling through the body, mind, and soul. Breathe, breathe and breathe. Cry when you need to cry. Laugh when you need to laugh. Regular bodywork and meditation also help. There are many great apps for meditation support. Insight Timer is my favorite.
“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. LISTEN.”
This voice ultimately guides the heart through the darkness and leads us towards the light.